I've been crying alot lately.

My kids are at my mom's today because I meet with my 4 year old's teacher today.  I wanted to ask her how I could be more involved in helping my son succeed and of course I ended up in tears. Poor teacher.

I have been doing alot of research with the help of  family, My 4 and 3 year old don't speak. My oldest has been going to an early intervention program for a little over a year and they diagnosed him with autism, I worry that my 3 year old could be the same. I didn't really know what autism was until I started to notice that there was something special about my child and that I needed to look into it more. I, of course freaked inside and got into protective mommy mode and try to do as much research as possible.

His teacher was  wonderful, she listened to me and let me open up to her (which I really needed) she made me feel so much better with her words and didn't look confused when I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. I know that even though we know that we are doing a good job, we sometimes need the validation and for someone to let us know that it's gonna be ok. It felt good to let it out since I always put out a strong face for my husband and my mom, I act like I am doing a great job at keeping it together, I do all my crying in the car in between trips to my mom's house and back (she lives 30 mnts away) I don't like to show them how vulnerable I sometimes am, I just don't like them to see me that way.

 I trust in the Lord and I know that He is there for me and that if He allowed for this things to happen then it's for a reason and that He will bless us through it all.

I love my babies and I would and will do anything and everything for them. I just pray for strength and patients,