So my sister, her husband and their daughter left to Japan a few days ago :(
Her husband is in the military so  I guess they are gonna be there for about 3 years:(
Yesterday My daughter and I went over to my mom's house for bible study and since my sister had been staying there before leaving, my daughter knew that she would see her cousin, ( who is also her age) When she saw the house she got so happy and started saying Vati Vati ( her cousins name is Valerie), so we went inside and she is like "Vati mami Vati". She went around looking for her and when she couldn't find her I explained to her that she went to Japan for a little bit but she will be back. :(

They are gonna miss eachother so much, I miss them so much already. Thank goodness there is skype and other things so that we can keep in constant touch.

clean up clean up everybody clean up

Oh my, my kids have been trashing the house all day long. It is so messy right now. There is toys and left over snacks everywhere. I am so sick of cleaning the same old mess everyday. The worst is that they don't even help me and once I am done cleaning, half hour later it starts to look the same again.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I am tired.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUEy8nZvpdMSo lately I've been so worn out. I just feel like this song describes what I am feeling.

I'm quitting my insanity workout

Ok so I tried insanity for 3 days and it was not for me. It was hard and it was hard and it was hard, my body couldn't take it, it took me about 1 hour afterwards to recuperate, I was sore for days and with 3 kids running around, I just don't have that kind of time. I decided to go back to my turbo jam workout.  Sure it won't be as fast, but I'll least be able to continue to do my daily activities without feeling like my body weights a ton.

I'm starting the insanity workout

Ok so after having 3 children, my body didn't bounce back to its skinny self like it happens to some famous people. I have stretch marks and a really ugly looking muffin top and I am really sick of it, my youngest is now 2 years old and I can't use the "I just had a baby" excuse anymore.
I decided to blog my progress because otherwise I won't keep up with the workout and maybe this will give me a push to do my work out everyday. I chose to do insanity because I guess you can get faster results. I am not a person who likes to wait, I want results quick quick quick, like on my 1st workout quick. I know that is unrealistic but for some reason I still expect it.

 So I took some pictures today and I really don't want to post them.... but it's the only way to push myself,

I know I know I know... ( I cropped my face cause I looked really weird) but I am hoping that in 60 days my pictures will look way way better than this, and I really hope that I don't quit this workout because today was my first day and I did the fitness test and that thing kicked my butt, it took me about 1 hour to recover.

SO I will be updating my progress every Tuesday, we will see how it all goes.

twist's homemade hoodie (fresh beat band)

We all love the fresh beats at my house so we recently celebrated my son's and daughter's birthday with a fresh beat band / rockstar theme party. I looked everywhere for a hoodie that would resemble twist's but had no luck. I then decided to make it myself.
It was extremely difficult to find a plain yellow hoodie (which is ridiculous) but I finally came across one at target and even though it's not exactly what I was looking for, I was running out of time so I had to get it.

I went through my give away clothes and found a yellow and a blue shirt that didn't fit my kids no more, I grabbed some lids and cups from the kitchen, a pen, scissors and of course my stitch witchery.
 I traced out the shape of the from pocket on a piece of paper and cut it out of the blue giveaway shirt.
Then using my lids I drew the shape of twist's patch design on the yellow giveaway shirt and started cutting (which was not a fun task).
Then using my stitch witchery I cut out the shape of the circles (also not fun) and applied them to the back of the circles and with a wet cloth and how iron I put it all together.
Once the patch was made I again used my stitch witchery to attach it to the hoodie.

those are not stains, it's just wet.

I was pretty happy with the end result. I was so excited for my son to wear it ...... then the day came and my son refused to wear it :(
I pretty much did all the work for nothing :(
But it's all good, at least I proved to my self that I am more crafty than I thought I was :)

Fresh beat band / rockstar birthday party

So the day finally came and we had a great time celebrating my son's 5th and my daughter's 2nd birthday. We all had a blast, and I asked that all the kids and adults dress as rock stars or as one of the fresh beats. I really wanted to get a fbb rockstar jacket for my kids but they were all out and etsy was selling them too pricy.
I homemade most of the decorations as there are not much fbb party decorations out there, plus I like homemaking things. My husband made the cake and I shaped them as guitars, I made the pinatas myself (which I am so super proud of). We had taco salads for food (those were a hit)
Here are the pictures:


I got inflatable guitars ,microphones and rockstar glasses  for the kids

 I decorated the party bags with thank u cards

 I made some musical notes table pieces

I hung stars from the ceiling

We had taco salads

I was so happy to see all the party guests dressed as the fresh beats and as rockstars

My guitar pinatas were great, they held up so well and every kid was able to take a whack at them multiple times before it broke.

My nieces and nephews dancing to the fresh beat songs

We had 2 cakes, one for my son and one for my daughter, the cakes were graham cracker with chocolate ganache and marshmallow frosting, it was delicious to say the least.

 My birthday babies

My kids loved them.

 We got a drum set for my son

We had so much fun taking pictures on the stage backdrop.

Over all the party was awesome and a great memory for my kids and I.

guitar pinata.

My kid's birthday is coming up so I decided to do a fresh beat band theme party, I saw a guitar pinata online that I wanted to buy but it was over $50.00 I was not gonna pay that much so I decided to do it myself and I think that it turned out better than the one I wanted to buy online.
I had a flat screen t.v box in my garage so I used that, I'm into arts and crafts so I already had glue, ribbon, tissue paper and other things.

First I hand drew the shape of the guitar on the cardboard box, then I cut it using a box blade, I then traced it to the other side of the box so that I could have 2 identical pieces.

Then, I cut out strips from what was left of the box and I used them for the sides. I taped it all with duck tape( I used alot of it to make sure it didn't come apart)

   I used more duck tape than the picture shows.(way more)

 I decided to also do paper mache on top of it just to make it extra strong ( the paper mache didn't stick much to the duck take so next time I'll make sure to use longer pieces of paper for the paper mache to make sure there is no lifting on the tape parts)

After letting it dry for a day, I started to decorate it and I am very happy with the final product, I guess the real test will be once the kids start going at it ( but that's not for another 2 weeks)

I made sure to reinforce the strap because I will be hanging it from it for the party, I also made sure to leave an opening on top so that I can put the candy in. I made the opening on the same side as the strap so that the candy doesn't fall out once we hang it.
I learned a few things from making this, next time I will make the strings longer so that they don't end right where the black circle is (cause that's not how they really are), I will also make sure that the strap is on the right place so that it doesn't hang funny, you will see once I post pictures of the birthday in 2 weeks :)

UPDATE: They held up great, they were sturdy and everyone loved them.

Nights like tonight.

I couldn't sleep tonight, so I went on facebook to pass the time and I saw a couple of posts that just hit me hard, not because they are sad or anything like that, but because I was jealous, yes I know it's pathetic and wrong, I know this. I just couldn't help to feel it.

The posts were about kids who are the same age as my Elijah, they were just normal things that kids do and one video hit me hard,a girl that I used to work with posted a video of her 5 year old sending a message to her grandma and she looked so beautiful and charming talking, and it just hit me that MY Elijah is gonna be 5 in a few weeks and my baby still doesn't speak...... I know it's wrong for me to be jealous, I know it but I can't help it. I know that it's ok and that God has everything under control............. but I am just so afraid that I might never be able to have a conversation with my baby, I wanna hear his voice, I wanna tell him a joke, I want him to tell me a joke, I want him to express his feelings to me, I just want to have a conversation with my baby and I can't. I know that there are people that have it worst and I know that there are people who would think that I am lucky that my baby is healthy, I know this ... but tonight I'm sad, I'm just sad. I know that by tomorrow I'll feel really silly for this post, but right now, I'm just sad.

........

....ever have one of those days when you just feel like a failure as a parent??
..... today is mine.

halloween? christmas? ???????

Growing up I didn't celebrate halloween or christmas, I remember that when I was very young, my grandpa used to put a christmas tree and decorate his house and he would also buy us all presents. When I was around 7(I think, maybe younger) we stop celebrating it. I remember them saying something about it being a pagan holiday so as soon as I heard the word pagan I knew that it ment not from God but from the devil so I was ok with not celebrating anymore. I never felt like I was missing out on anything. At school after the christmas break I always heard my friends talking about all the gifts they got and honestly I never felt left out or sad for not getting gifts myself, or for not being able to dress up for halloween, it never affected me, somehow I understood that it wasn't something that we should do. Once I got married, I was reintroduced to christmas and honestly I started to forget why I didn't celebrate it, I learned that people knew that Jesus wasn't really born on December and that they just choose to celebrate him on that day anyway. I was ok with it and I started to go along with it but I always felt weird about it and I was never really at peace with myself for it. I still don't celebrate halloween and I will never celebrate it, nor let my kids celebrate it either, I am very thankful that my husband is supported of my decision, he might think I am a little weird for thinking its pagan but he backs me up.

Today, someone posted a link on facebook that talked about why christians shouldn't celebrate halloween, I clicked on it and I was reminded that halloween is a big no no. This got me thinking about christmas and so I did some research, I know that I shouldn't believe everything I read online but I read this article that is full of scriptures from the bible  ( and the bible I do believe) and it talks about why God doesn't want us to celebrate this holidays. I now have so much doubt inside of me as to why I should continue to celebrate christmas, I never felt right about it and now I feel even worst about it, I feel like I need to pray and ask God for discernment, because I just don't wanna be doing things that go against God's will.

God's word is clear: 

Thessalonians 5:21-22—“Test everything. Hold on to the good. Avoid every kind of evil.”
 James 1:27—“keep oneself from being polluted by the world”
 3 John 1:11—“do not imitate what is evil”
3 John 1:11—“do not imitate what is evil”
Romans 12:9—“abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good.”
Deuteronomy 18:9-14—do not learn to imitate detestable ways, including spiritists, sorcerers and witchcraft
Ephesians 5:11-12—“Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness” / “live as children of light”
1 Timothy 4:1—don’t ”follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons”
2 Corinthians 6:14-17—“what fellowship can light have with darkness?”
1 Corinthians 11:1—“follow the example of Christ”
1 Corinthians 10:31—“whatever you do, do everything for the glory of God"
 (Christiananswers.net)

and then I read this:

 Jeremiah 10:1-4

10 Hear what the Lord says to you, people of Israel. ² This is what the Lord says:

“Do not learn the ways of the nations
    or be terrified by signs in the heavens,
    though the nations are terrified by them.
³ For the practices of the peoples are worthless;
    they cut a tree out of the forest,
    and a craftsman shapes it with his chisel.
⁴ They adorn it with silver and gold;
    they fasten it with hammer and nails
    so it will not totter.

I feel like this can't be any more clear and that our mighty Lord is trying to show me something by putting all of this in my heart, now I just need to pray and ask for discernment and wait for his truth to rain upon me and show me the way.
I want to be able to teach my children what is from God and not from this world, I don't want them growing up filled with lies, I want to raise them based on the truth, the truth from God.  

Office lover

So this season is the last season for  "the office" one of my fav shows ever. I can watch this on netflix all day long over and over and not get bored, love them. I missed Michael when he left but the show was still good after he left, I guess some things have to come to an end sooner or later. I'm going to miss Jim and Pam and Jim lol ( his character is just so cute),

 I mean their wedding episode was one of the best, right next to the fire drill one.

 I secretly wish that they were together in real life, I just love a good romance.

 Am I the only one who is feeling a little sad over this show coming to an end? I mean it's just a show.

can you say overwhelmed?

I've been doing a bit too much research for my son(Eli) lately and I got to say that I am feeling overwhelmed with all this information that I am finding. I feel like I have tons of work ahead of me and I feel like I won't make it through it sometimes, I'm just one person after all.
I have no idea how my son's autism is going to affect him in the future, he is only 4 and right now he is the happiest kid, he loves to play and laugh and spend time with family, he is such an awesome kid. I have noticed lately that not been able to communicate with words is getting him frustrated. Sometimes when we can't understand each other, he runs to his room and closes the door and won't let me in.

I know that I can only get the kind of strength that I need from God, I know that I got to ask and pray for it, I know that I can do all things through Christ, that he is with me and I just need to rest in his love and know that everything will be fine. I know all of this...I know I need to pray.... so if I know all of this then why am I not praying enough???
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..........

I got some praying to do.



Anyway, this past weekend we took all of the cousins to the zoo (from my husbands side). It was fun, Eli had a great time with his cousin. I gotta say though, I was so tired afterwards. We took 19 kids and we were 9 adults, it was like a school field trip.

     This is some of us, we didn't all fit in the same picture.

homemade curtains.

I was having a hard time finding curtains to fit my sons' window.. it's a very long window. The ones that I found in the store were too expensive and I'm on a budget so I decided to make them myself. I needed them to be short because they had long ones before and they kept hanging from them and bending the pole so every night I had to fix them.

This is how they turned out...

 I'm not crazy about them but they do the job and they are kind of cute. The stitch witchery worked great.

I often use the " I'm sorry my house is a mess, I have 3 toddlers" excuse, but the sad part is that it is not an excuse, it's the pure truth.

 If I don't clean my house for 1 day, just one 1 day, it takes me about 5 hours to get it decent looking the next day and who wants to spend 5 hours cleaning? not me. If I want it to be spotless, it takes me about 2 days, but honestly I can never really accomplish that, unless my mom or mother in law are coming, then I have no choice but to stay up till 1am doing it. If my kids are spending the night at my mom's then I could, but I choose not to, those are my lazy days and they only happen about once every 2 or 3 months so I take advantage.


                                                              I wish this was me.

                                                              but instead this is me.

 OK that's not really me, I found this pictures online. (but you get the picture)

I've been crying alot lately.

My kids are at my mom's today because I meet with my 4 year old's teacher today.  I wanted to ask her how I could be more involved in helping my son succeed and of course I ended up in tears. Poor teacher.

I have been doing alot of research with the help of  family, My 4 and 3 year old don't speak. My oldest has been going to an early intervention program for a little over a year and they diagnosed him with autism, I worry that my 3 year old could be the same. I didn't really know what autism was until I started to notice that there was something special about my child and that I needed to look into it more. I, of course freaked inside and got into protective mommy mode and try to do as much research as possible.

His teacher was  wonderful, she listened to me and let me open up to her (which I really needed) she made me feel so much better with her words and didn't look confused when I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. I know that even though we know that we are doing a good job, we sometimes need the validation and for someone to let us know that it's gonna be ok. It felt good to let it out since I always put out a strong face for my husband and my mom, I act like I am doing a great job at keeping it together, I do all my crying in the car in between trips to my mom's house and back (she lives 30 mnts away) I don't like to show them how vulnerable I sometimes am, I just don't like them to see me that way.

 I trust in the Lord and I know that He is there for me and that if He allowed for this things to happen then it's for a reason and that He will bless us through it all.

I love my babies and I would and will do anything and everything for them. I just pray for strength and patients,

This is us + poop

So I tried to get a picture of my kids and I all together and well it never really works.

But I did finally managed to get an ok one, with some editing of course.

So this is my little family (- the husband works all day and when he comes home he doesn't enjoy me flashing a camera on his face)

The other day I woke up early and jumped in the shower before my kids could wake up, my husband was awake watching tv in the living room so I didn't worry about them getting up and me not being there for them. I had a really nice long shower since my husband was home and I didn't have to rush and take a 5 mnt shower while my kids are busy watching tv and strapped in their high chairs. When I open the bathroom door I immediately smelled poop, it was a very strong smell so I went to the living room to see where it was coming from and I found my husband with the boys laying on the couch watching cartoons. I asked him where Tirzah was and he said she was still sleeping on our bed, I went to go check on her and she was not there so I walk into the boys bedroom and what do I find? My little daughter covered in poop. She had taken off her diaper and pooped in like 4 different spots in the room and then sat on her little upholster Dora chair and left poop all over it, she then stepped on the poop and there were little poop foot prints everywhere, including the hallway. Half of the toys were smeared with poop. It was awesome. :(